Insouciance

Stresuay

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 20:52:31 GMT

And it goes on for days. Or weeks.

Not a good sign.

Map of the Problematique

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 11:11:07 GMT

Fear
And the panic in the air
I want to be free
From desolation and despair
And I feel
Like everything I sow
Is been swept away
Well I refuse to let you go

Life
Will flash before my eyes
So scattered and lost
I want to touch the other side
And no one
Thinks they are to blame
Why can't we see
When we bleed we bleed the same?

I can't get it right
Get it right
Since I met you

Loneliness be over
When will this loneliness be over?

Adding 74 to the title

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 10:07:25 GMT

The raid was good. One of the best and thrilling experience I've had insofar. Dangerous yet satisfying.

Oh, the gold is here! The screen is huge. Haha. Alright, bigger than I had expected.

But I can say no more 1fps! I hope.

1 FPS

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 16:26:06 GMT

What do you do when you have 1026ms latency and 1fps?

Defenestrate your freaking computer.

I wonder how i managed to survive for 500hrs and counting of this poppycock.

I guess I don't have much of a choice.

Bah!

Dark August

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 14:59:03 GMT

So much rain, so much life like the swollen sky
of this black August. My sister, the sun,
broods in her yellow room and won't come out.

Everything goes to hell; the mountains fume
like a kettle, rivers overrun; still,
she will not rise and turn off the rain.

She's in her room, fondling old things,
my poems, turning her album. Even if thunder falls
like a crash of plates from the sky,

she does not come out.
Don't you know I love you but am hopeless
at fixing the rain? But I am learning slowly

to love the dark days, the steaming hills,
the air with gossiping mosquitoes,
and to sip the medicine of bitterness,

so that when you emerge, my sister,
parting the beads of rain,
with your forehead and eyes of forgiveness,

all will not be as it was, but it will be true
(you see they will not let me love
as I want), because, my sister, then

I would have learnt to love black days like bright ones,
the black rain, the white hills, when once
I loved only my happiness and you.

In your world

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 03:00:52 GMT

I'm thankful after all these unlucky instances, I'm finally feeling better. Guess it's back to work tomorrow.

I'm not unfaithful but I'll stray.

No comment.

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 08:41:30 GMT

I'm speechless at how this has turned out.

And you expect me to believe? Well done my friend, well done.

Consider yourself lucky I only have 3 of the 4 keys.

In exchange

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 17:46:31 GMT

When one free lunch comes,

Another one leaves...

Haha!

And so I should stop dreaming

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 16:42:59 GMT

Cause I need more clozapines...

When time burns

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 09:47:45 GMT

Celebrated Ken's birthday 3 days back at Conrad hotel. It's been a long while since we did something like this. And so the group was more diverse. We had a jap guy who joined us too! Haha. Again, will upload the photos when I'm free. Moreover, the pictures of the past has been uploaded to fb due to some reminders... Haha.

First half of summer semester has ended. Can't help but keep updated of stuffs in school. Which reminds me that Preston is leaving to return to the states for good. Oh boy will we miss him. Philippines is next for us! Or maybe somewhere else...

May tonight be a rainy night so that Singaporeans wouldn't roam around and do stupid things. Let me have a good tour!

And I'm so in love with Cate West now... Haha!

Are you thinking?

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 13:08:24 GMT

No I'm not. Let's just hope I don't pay the consequence.

Pulau Ubin. Bowl & Pool.

Why does my off days end so fast

Stupid rash act

It's saturday tomorrow! Oh wait. I have work the next two days. Doesn't feel like the weekends anymore...

Dagnabits.

Of pulchritude

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 04:29:17 GMT

It does seem like it's going to be quite often to have lunch at 10. 10pm that is. And that's your first proper meal of the day when you reach home. In other words, you're so busy that you don't even have enough time to leave your duty for a meal. Looking on the brighter side, it's saving on my meal allowance. On the other hand, you're working with a growling stomach. Haha.

Fairly picking up new skills and meeting new people and it is going to accumulate till the end arrives. Nevertheless, quite satisfied with it other than the 'working much more than you're paid to do so' and 'working more than others who are paid more than you'. Cheap labour would be apt to describe it. Haha.

Still, the time I look forward to is not in the work itself, but when it's my off days of course. There are certainly new hobbies to learn but somehow I dislike something that isn't stretch over a period of time. It's like learn and break learn and break. Not quite giving me the momentum and motivation. Moreover, having off on weekdays and working on weekends seems to be quite a drag. What's enjoying when people are either schooling or working on weekdays and free during the weekends. I have to wait once a month to get both sat and sun off at the same time. Pretty sad I must say.

Anyways it was frisbee picnic and running at the reservoir 2 days ago with Ben, Small and Kiat. It feels good to be outdoor when the weather was exceptionally fine like then. And I'll release a second wave of pictures when I feel less lazy. Haha.

Just be

Tue, 26 May 2009 14:39:33 GMT

And there goes my "clearing leave" of 5 days which was forced to be taken.

They plan the leave for you. You have to take them or miss out on your leave.

I have 6 of the 14 leave days left when it isn't even mid year!

All 8 days that I had taken were forced without prior notice!

All these so that you are not able to take leave in the future -.-

Stupid P.....

Peon says: Work work work...

Trembling

Sun, 17 May 2009 07:17:36 GMT

Ok backdate my last proper post was when it was 10 weeks, 8 weeks to go; dated 15 march. 2 months have past since then and it does seem kinda fast. Then again it was a treacherous and lengthy 4 months in total but am glad it's over. No more protection and guidance inside though. We're all on our own now.

It was definitely made easier during the weekdays. Couldn't ask for a better combination than what I had inside. Best squad afterall eh. Ha. Still, with every laughter shared together, with each experience turned to knowledge, we leave behind a capricious phase to progress. And not forgetting the times I spent outside of camp, they were undeniably pleasant. Pleasant to breathe the air outside and relish the moments spent.

I'll just flood the following space with pictures etched from a time beginning from I-don't-know-when... I'm not cutting them. Be warned.

Ping Ping's B'day:

Happy Birthday! =)

Her gift

Minds Cafe:

Rubbish Penguins. Haha

Eh you... *pointing fork*

Smile (=

Ikea + Starbucks:

Humm... Tsk tsk. Haha.

Blow Birthday Blow

Small: *Exclaim!*

The word says all

Grind your teeth. Grrr...

Kiat's enlistment gift:

Ben with Eva Longoria

Ben on Men's Health cover. Eat paper!

Jared at Eiffel Tower

Jared in jungle. Camouflaged well.

Kenneth at Mount Rushmore. Kit kat advertisement parody

Shawn at grass patch

Shawn at fruit stall. Look here! Not me, the food/fruits!

Small, David Cook, and Nigel Barker

Small, Tay Ping Hui, and David Beckham

Kiat's end product gift with self baked cookies, with love.

Kiat's farewell day:

Attitude with the fried rice. Haha

Paddle Pop Jared

Receiving of gift

There's this...

And this...

And this as well!

And it started with 2...

Hmmm...

Ahhh...

Bleh...

Ahhh... Hmmm... Why like that??

There we go... A proper one=)

Ben's preparation and enlistment day:

Shokudo's crepe. Tasty...

But food comes later... Haha

The end product. A decorated organizer with self made covers, with love.

Outside

Inside

The hero going. Haha

Don't shy...

Presenting to him

=)

Lunch at Sakura:

The ladies...

The men...

(=

Kiat's Birthday:

Seems like someone is heading for the fork to steal the cake. Haha

Presenting the cake plus cookies

Happy Birthday!

=)

Sports day random:

Then there were 3...

Redemption 1...

Redemption 2...

No redemption.

Passing out:

With my parents

And I see a familiar face there... Mere mere! Haha

Buddies

Fake Mother's Day:

You watch out. Haha

And then there were finally 4... Haha

To mom, For Mother's Day, With love. Haha

Small and her 4 "sons" Haha.
Happy Mother's Day!

Starbucks after dim sum:

One

Two

Three

Promotion: Drink and you'll smile=) Haha

May May & Wei Wei

Laugh. Haha. Laugh.

*Stares*

This is how you pick ~~your~~ someone else's nose. Hahaha.

Haha

Hmmm?

Drink and your shirt will smile too...

Mop. Haha

Rawr rawr

Smile=)

A straight shirt is a sad shirt...

... But a crumpled shirt is a crying shirt. Haha

And finally I'm done=)

Fallen last

Wed, 13 May 2009 21:19:09 GMT

To pick up where I left off...

-3400

It ends here. No more. No less.

Home

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 07:13:09 GMT

The dreamer and the wine
Poet without a rhyme
A widowed writer torn apart by chains of hell
One last perfect verse
Is still the same old song
Oh Christ how I hate what I have become

My home was there and then
Those meadows of heaven
Adventure-filled days
One with every smiling face

Please, no more words
Thoughts from a severed head
No more praise
Tell me once my heart goes right

Take me home...

Getaway, runaway, fly away
Lead me astray to dreamer's hideaway
I cannot cry cause the shoulder cries more
I cannot die, I, a whore for the cold world
Forgive me
I have but two faces
One for the world
One for God

Save me...

Romanticide

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 03:49:46 GMT

Godlove and rest my soul
With this sundown neverending
The feel is gone yet you ain't gonna see me fail
I am the decadence of your world
I am an eider covered in oil
Happy hunting, you double-faced carnivore

Tell me why
No heart to cry
Hang me high

The music is dead, the amen is said
The kiss of faith is what I beg
A loving heart and soul for sale

Tell me why...

Leave me be
And cease to tell me how to feel
To grieve, to shield myself from evil
Leave me be
Od of lies is killing me
Romanticide
Till love do me part

See me ruined by my own creations

Leave me be...

Dead Boy's alive but without sense
I need a near-death experience
Heart once bold
Now turned to stone
Perfection my messenger from hell

Wine turns to water
Campfires freeze, loveletters burn
Romance is lost
Lord, let me be wrong in this pain

Temporary pain, eternal shame
To take part in this devil's chess game
Spit on me, let go, get rid of me
And try to survive your stupidity

Fatal car accidents

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 10:13:51 GMT

Yesterday I collided into another car and that would cost me at least around 8k.

Today I watched in disbelief as both cars crashed out with just 3 laps remaining and that effectively cost me another 2k.

Can it get any worse?

Away

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 17:37:26 GMT

The days were brighter
Gardens more blooming
The nights had more hope
In their silence The wild was calling
Wishes were whispering
The time was there
But without a meaning

Away, away in time
Every dream's a journey away
Away to a home, away from care
Everywhere's just a journey away

The days departed
Gardens deserted
This frail world
My only rest ?

The wild calls no more
Wishes so hollow
The Barefoot Boy
Weeping in an empty night

Away...

Cherish the moment
Tower the skies
Don't let the dreamer
Fade to grey like grass

No falling for life
A gain for every loss
Time gathered me
But kept me flying

"For this gift of dream I must pay the price
with the loss of life's pleasures"

Concinnity and Concision

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 10:14:29 GMT

Week 10. 8 more left.

And so I've finally reached the more than half mark and we've been promoted to senior munko (Malay for a somewhat idiot in with a bowlhead crew style.) Haha. Just left all the tests to run through and I can obtain back more than a fraction of my freedom. A levels released last week and I realised that I had become an SIM ambassador to my squad throughout this week. Haha. People come asking me about the course and stuff and many a times I have to explain the difference between the campus and the school itself. Though UniSIM is a university itself, SIM is NOT the only uni. People have the misconception that I study at SIM, SIM when I told them that I'm from there. Yes, SIM is the campus but my school is from Buffalo, New York! Haha. And definitely I think I would see more people coming to SIM when I finally return back to school though it might not be my school, school if you get what I mean... Haha.

Had a farewell dinner for Jared on firday and we just chionged on the food at bedok. Shiok I must say and you better eat well when you can before going in since food options are kinda limited in there and they don't always necessarily taste... good. Haha. He's going to Naval Diving Unit which is like I think even more fierce than commandos. But it'd be good for him cause we'll definitely see a much fitter him.

Went to NUS and NTU open house yesterday with ben, small and hk. Guess I was just there to look around and to cut transportation time. Haha. The talks were kinda useless for both schools I think. Booths would be a better choice for satisfaction of queries. Went to E-Hub to chill later and it's like my real first visit there since it opened! Haha. Went to ECP to talk with ben later in the night and it rained... so we spent the night in the car till around 2 plus am. Love this feeling of just having a good talk and of course... We're not gay. Haha.

Anyways just some pics for the past few weeks...

Food spam

Prize giving. So familiar. haha

And since Jared has been into chinese chess recently. And I mean addicted already, we gave him a chinese chess set with the board made of our pictures together. It's really nice if I could get a clearer picture... He should have just joined my mindsports club in the past. Hahaha.

Ab and Jo at the airport

This time at Seletar Airport

At Seletar Reservoir

Very nice view in the early morning

Jump

Jump. Again

Joaquim and Jocelyn

With Joc at Cine

Jo and Joc

Along with Char and Xh

Till next post...

ps. My food ban has been lifted!

Lost Limits

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 10:31:29 GMT

Week 8. 10 more to go. (And not even halfway there)

Watched my first S League match live this week. Since we were under Home Affairs so obviously we were there to support Home United against Balestier Khalsa. First half was stupid but they won in the end 3-0 scoring 3 goals in the second half including a penalty. So I guess that was enough for me - seriously it can be boring but its worth the experience.

Recently its been raining and though sometimes we get to skip outdoor activities due to the rain, it can be a drag at times especially travelling from one place to another. Also... it stinks up your barrack since the room would be moist with the wet raincoat and worst of all is that your clothes doesn't get dried in time! After 8 weeks and its seriously starting to get boring doing the routine stuff. Screw the system with its inconsiderate delay of pop. Blah. Army guys are passing out in around 2 weeks time and I'm still going to be in for another 10...

Anyways had cooking session at small's place yesterday and it was fun cooking! Haha. We each had our own dish:

Jacintha - Herbal Chicken Soup
Benjamin - Sambal Prawn
Hong Kiat - Brocolli and Prawn
Kenneth - Cauliflower and Pork and Carrots and tau kua and.... anything found edible. Haha
Me - Chicken and Prawn with whiskey

Small's soup

Kiat's veg on the left and Ken's mixed veggies on the right. (Middle is some chapalang egg. Haha)

Kiat's Brocolli

Ken's mixed veggies with pork

Ben's Sambal Prawn

My chicken and prawn

And as you can see we had a lot of prawns... Haha. Anyways the food turned out to be good or rather very good for our first attempt. Haha.

Tsk tsk.

Ready to eat

Went to Udders at Novena for ice cream dessert after dinner and to pass Jared our cooking for his second dinner. Haha.

Look at the joy in him eating. Hahaha

(=

Untouched

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 08:06:09 GMT

Week 7. 11 more to go.

Met up with Shermin after quite some time for lunch. Jocelyn, Charlene and Xian Hong for sub lunch - which I didn't know why was I eating again. Maybe its the 3 meals a day in camp that has been instilled in to me. Haha. Watched Slumdog Millionaire. Not bad I must say. A somewhat different perspective. Joaquim joined us for dinner and then tau huay for supper. Geylang's tau huay is better. Met up with Abby with Jo one last time today before she leaves for Hong Kong to carry on her career there.

Ok, I just realised the above paragraph lacks a lot of essence in writing. Perhaps I've lost the feel for writing ever since I took a somewhat break from habitually updating. Bah.

You lose some; But must you win back what you've lost?

Deep sleep

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 17:37:32 GMT

45 hours. It's been a while. I can finally sleep now.

The weekend just always ends too fast.

---------

Food variations for past 2 weekends

Thai with May
Mexican with Preston
Sweedish with Abby
Japanese with Jacintha, Ben, Hong Kiat, and Kenneth

---------

Week 6. 12 more weeks...

Ocean Soul

Sun, 08 Feb 2009 02:16:34 GMT

One more night
To bear this nightmare
What more do I have to say

Crying for me was never worth a tear
My lonely soul is only filled with fear

Long hours of loneliness
Between me and the sea

Losing emotion
Finding devotion
Should I dress in white and search the sea
As I always wished to be - one with the waves

Walking the tideline
I hear your name
Is angels wispering
Something so beautiful it hurts

I only wished to become something beautiful
Through my music, through my silent devotion

Bad timings

Sat, 07 Feb 2009 16:59:29 GMT

I still can't believe I wasted my weekends sleeping!